The Words of Someone Who Just Wants to Be Heard

Dead cat!!!!

They say it's supposed to be therapeutic to see old things you wrote before. To see how much you've grown. (I don't know who "they" are, but moving on). But is it therapeutic if you opinions of yourself hasn't changed in a year and a half? Seems depressing.

Only half-heartedly saying this, so it's not depressing yet. But I'm sure it's gonna mull around in my head later.

I've got other things to be currently depressed about. But not gonna put them in words quite yet. Maybe later tonight.

Half hearted promise

Rant by BariZP at 7:14 PM comments (0)

I think I'm gonna try to write a post at least once a day again. I'll probably fail within a week lol

Online class ponderings

Rant by BariZP at 9:24 AM comments (0)

I'm doing more thinking about this online class thing..

I don't qualify for financial aid right now since I didn't get the paperwork in on time since I decided I couldn't go to school in the Fall. But if my parents are willing to pay for just one class it'll at least give me a foundation when I'm finally able to move out to Sacramento.

I think I could do one class.. Like a math class. One that I already know the material and wouldn't necessarily need a professor to interact with.. But then Is have to do all the crap I was avoiding to do. Like take the proficiency tests. But I do need to send in my transcripts anyways, so no tests needed?

But then I'd have to come up with the money to pay off MJC (Shh technicality that I can't keep pushing back) so its gonna cost more money than I'd think the parents are willing to spend..

I'm sure they'd help me if I'm willing to put in the effort. For God's sake, they're paying for my sister's 14 unit class load. I wonder if they know that.. Hm.

Anyways, one class. Hopefully a math class - hypothetically. So that's like 5 units (MJC standards) and $36 a unit. Plus a textbook and an online access code I think would end up running up to $200. Crap. That is expensive by itself.. Plus over $150 for the class alone..

Maybe I should talk to them before I make any plans..

Opinion

Rant by BariZP at 9:49 PM comments (0)

You're entitled to your opinion, but damnit so am I. You can talk down all the things I believe and have strong opinions on, but don't expect me not to do the same.

If you're against abortion, don't expect me to change my opinion by stuffing your opinion down my throat.

Don't look down upon me for my different opinion.

Don't constantly expect me to be respectful of your sensitive feeling and keeping my opinions to myself when you're dancing around, opening cheering your political ideals, your narrow-minded opinions, and flaunting your freedom of speech in my face. I have the same rights and I WILL speak my mind. Even if it is against your opinion.

You are not right. But for that, I'm also not right.

So quit acting like it.

You are NOT morally superior to me.

I think of you as an idiotic narrow-minded hypocrite and will change your mind the moment you're put in an awful position. But I'm probably wrong, and I'm okay with that.

But YOU need to learn to be more accepting of others.

Won't even gamble on myself

Rant by BariZP at 9:11 PM comments (0)

So irritating. I know that I SUCK at online classes - this has been proven far more times than I care to admit. But they want me to take a class online since I don't have a job yet. I'm not putting my financial aid on for that.. That also means books to pay for.

I was thinking about trying on something simple like a lower math class that I won't need the lecture component anyways. But I don't think I can do that. I don't see me finishing that successfully.

Maybe I really don't have faith in myself anymore.