I know it's been a while. I don't feel like summing up the week right now, so I'm going to ramble about the right now.

Mercedes will be coming home instead for her birthday because of her mom, so now I get to plan her 21st! lol I'm excited, it's been a while since I got to plan a party. But I got distracted because I do plan on visiting her anyways. Maybe fly up with her when she leaves and drive back when Justin's parents come to visit. At least that's the plan.

I was going to take the train thinking that it's cheaper, but it's pretty much a flat $120 no matter how I do it. Whereas I can fly round trip for $120 or go one-way for $89 (plus taxes and fees). I may do that. But I need to find that money from somewhere. I dunno how this will work, but I really want to go!

For party, I'm thinking about different themes, or maybe just say 'screw the theme' lol everyone just wants to get drunk anyways. May just let her mom take over. Who knows. I sent her my phone number so hopefully I'll hear back from her soon.

So Avenue Q was amazing! Knowing all the songs, I was afraid that I wasn't going to be surprised or something. Everything was so much better seeing it live. There were things I never expected and I loved it lol

We went to Denny's afterwards where we hung out and had dinner. Lots of fun, I had a good time hanging out with Samantha's sister, Stacey. She tends to stay at home so I hope we can pull her out of her shell. lol

So after Symphonic Band KPsi met up because we had a Movie Night in the MSR building that we forgot about so we had to take care of that. Going to show The Hangover and Borne Ultimatum (or something like that lol, never seen it). We'll see how this goes lol Soooo last minute!

Tonight is the Alum Continued Ed thing after Night Band. He should be here, even though I never heard anything confirming this. We'll see. I have my own obligations to worry about, I'll worry about dealing with him later. I know we'll be fine publicly. We showed that before. But I think things may be a bit tense, just a little, since I actually don't want to see him unless he's going to appologize or explain, or something.. He made me feel like an idiot..

Thankfully no one knows what happened, should make things not as awkward.

Anyways, right now just killing time until 4:30, gonna grab some dinner with Samantha and Will at a Taquerilla to show him a proper Mexican restaurant lol

Today is such a dull day!


Oh! I almost forgot! So my tax refund came in a couple days ago. Yesterday I deposited it into the bank, took out some cash. Paid my grandpa $300 for car payments, paid my parents $60 for phone payments, paid Maki $20 for MACCC , and finished paying for school! Yes! Next is paying my parking ticket and my credit card bill. I can't wait until I'm done. Maybe I'll get car insurance again. I almost filled up my tank last night. I spent a lot of money! lol All necessary though (except maybe dinner last night lol - oh and dinner tonight....) I'm glad to not be so money crunched though. It's so relaxing!

Not having to worry about all this crap happening on top of my personal relationships makes it so much easier.. It really does. I'm not as stressed out.

I hate how money affects me as it does. I would just be happy if I spent my money on other people. But I have bills so it sucks big time..

So on Friday, right after I posted on here, I got a text from him asking if he could call me. I didn't see it until I starting walking back to Percussion Ensemble. I called him and he pretty much said it was because he didn't feel a spark. I was so confused that I just said 'okay' and pointed out there was nothing I could say to change his mind so whatever. I was upset.

During rehearsal I just did what I was told, but I wasn't really talking to anyone.

I told Samantha and then Bean. But then I was thinking, how could there be no 'spark'? He was the one that was flirting with me for months, he was the one who kissed me first, he was the one who, very obviously, wanted to go all the way in the back seat of my car, he flirted with me throughout the week, he asked me out on a date, and kissed me again. HOW can there not be a spark? That doesn't make any sense to me.

He hasn't contacted me (except for the stupid FB pokes, which I'm ignoring since we've had an inside joke about pokes that was very much flirtatious), and I've missed him. But I'm very hurt and I wish he would just text me.

I'm wondering how tomorrow will go. We have the Continued Ed class tomorrow night after Night Band that he's supposed to do with Mary. I've been talking to Mary about it, not him. Wonder if she's expecting me to be talking to him too. It's not too weird of a expectation seeing how I usually talk to him the most and everyone knows it. With my luck, I'll be the one to blame if he's not there. I'll bring it up tonight with her tonight at the show.

I'm excited about tonight though. Avenue Q is happening! I've been waiting for this for ages! lol

Oh! And I talked to Mercedes a couple of nights ago for a few hours. Great stuff. I'm so happy to be back in contact with her. She did exactly what I wanted her to do when I told her what was going on. She was upset and tried to find reasoning. I mean, obviously, she didn't say anything that I didn't think already, but I'm glad she cares enough to make an effort to help me out. She was my best friend for so many years, and this is why.

I dunno what I feel about her. I mean, I've said it before, I don't think I can consider anyone else my 'best friend' after her, but having her back in the picture confuses me. After this last year of not talking, how can I put her back in that place? We really should talk things out that troubled me before we fell apart, maybe my opinion with change after that.

But having her back in my life really feels like that empty puzzle spot just got filled again. I missed her so much and I didn't really know it. I'm glad she's back.

I'm thinking about trying to visit her for her birthday in July with her family when they visit. I'd really like to. Plus I'm glad to hear that Justin is shaping up just how I expected he would, a loser. Mercedes is working and without his parents around to clean up after him, she's going insane from dealing with him. I mean, I hope things work out where she's happy, but I never thought he was good enough for her. He was a loser then, and he's a loser now.

Well I'm out. Gotta finish the transaction for Avenue Q at the Center. I'm really excited and I can't wait to see the show tonight. I know he was thinking about watching the show, but I think that was at my encouragement, I might now be the reason that he won't go now. Who knows.

Later!

I miss him..

I'll post a longer post later..