So on Friday, right after I posted on here, I got a text from him asking if he could call me. I didn't see it until I starting walking back to Percussion Ensemble. I called him and he pretty much said it was because he didn't feel a spark. I was so confused that I just said 'okay' and pointed out there was nothing I could say to change his mind so whatever. I was upset.

During rehearsal I just did what I was told, but I wasn't really talking to anyone.

I told Samantha and then Bean. But then I was thinking, how could there be no 'spark'? He was the one that was flirting with me for months, he was the one who kissed me first, he was the one who, very obviously, wanted to go all the way in the back seat of my car, he flirted with me throughout the week, he asked me out on a date, and kissed me again. HOW can there not be a spark? That doesn't make any sense to me.

He hasn't contacted me (except for the stupid FB pokes, which I'm ignoring since we've had an inside joke about pokes that was very much flirtatious), and I've missed him. But I'm very hurt and I wish he would just text me.

I'm wondering how tomorrow will go. We have the Continued Ed class tomorrow night after Night Band that he's supposed to do with Mary. I've been talking to Mary about it, not him. Wonder if she's expecting me to be talking to him too. It's not too weird of a expectation seeing how I usually talk to him the most and everyone knows it. With my luck, I'll be the one to blame if he's not there. I'll bring it up tonight with her tonight at the show.

I'm excited about tonight though. Avenue Q is happening! I've been waiting for this for ages! lol

Oh! And I talked to Mercedes a couple of nights ago for a few hours. Great stuff. I'm so happy to be back in contact with her. She did exactly what I wanted her to do when I told her what was going on. She was upset and tried to find reasoning. I mean, obviously, she didn't say anything that I didn't think already, but I'm glad she cares enough to make an effort to help me out. She was my best friend for so many years, and this is why.

I dunno what I feel about her. I mean, I've said it before, I don't think I can consider anyone else my 'best friend' after her, but having her back in the picture confuses me. After this last year of not talking, how can I put her back in that place? We really should talk things out that troubled me before we fell apart, maybe my opinion with change after that.

But having her back in my life really feels like that empty puzzle spot just got filled again. I missed her so much and I didn't really know it. I'm glad she's back.

I'm thinking about trying to visit her for her birthday in July with her family when they visit. I'd really like to. Plus I'm glad to hear that Justin is shaping up just how I expected he would, a loser. Mercedes is working and without his parents around to clean up after him, she's going insane from dealing with him. I mean, I hope things work out where she's happy, but I never thought he was good enough for her. He was a loser then, and he's a loser now.

Well I'm out. Gotta finish the transaction for Avenue Q at the Center. I'm really excited and I can't wait to see the show tonight. I know he was thinking about watching the show, but I think that was at my encouragement, I might now be the reason that he won't go now. Who knows.

Later!