I get the feeling that he isn't interested in our friendship, at least right now. I'm the one that messages him, he never initiates it. I feel like I need to drag on the conversation.

I don't think he means to be mean. Maybe he just sees me as a source of some kind of drama. I wouldn't blame him after that incident at Easter. I know I'm clingy, and I know that's not attractive.

I keep wondering why I let myself get that way. I've never done that with any other guy. Maybe I'm just that lonely or maybe I'm subconciously trying to push him away. I dunno.

Anyways, after him telling me about the potential stroke I rethink all of my actions towards him. I'd like to find out what's going on and why he's not taking the effort. But I read he shouldn't be stressed out and I won't be the source of his stress.

So I'll be avoiding initiating contact with him. I hope he'll message me or text me, I do really want him in my life but I'm going to stop being stupid.

Oh I really hope this works out.

This is not a good thing.

There are way too many people in my life that I can't talk about certain things. I can't trust some people they're the biggest blabber mouths ever. God, I've learned my lesson last time.

Others just don't care about what goes on in my life.

This is sad that I actually need to blog in order to vent. There's hardly anyone I feel the ability to just say anything to. Always have to guard myself to protect my friendships.

I'm so irritated.

Meh.

I'm so irritated.

I'm entitled to my feelings. I'm worried about her and she doesn't think my opinion doesn't matter since I haven't been married.

I'm so pissed off right now. She doersn't seem to understand how upset I am, or at least she doesn't want to talk about it.

How can she live this life when she is so unhappy?

God damn, I don't want to deal with this. I need to drink again tonight. Good thing there will be more people tonight.