I get the feeling that he isn't interested in our friendship, at least right now. I'm the one that messages him, he never initiates it. I feel like I need to drag on the conversation.

I don't think he means to be mean. Maybe he just sees me as a source of some kind of drama. I wouldn't blame him after that incident at Easter. I know I'm clingy, and I know that's not attractive.

I keep wondering why I let myself get that way. I've never done that with any other guy. Maybe I'm just that lonely or maybe I'm subconciously trying to push him away. I dunno.

Anyways, after him telling me about the potential stroke I rethink all of my actions towards him. I'd like to find out what's going on and why he's not taking the effort. But I read he shouldn't be stressed out and I won't be the source of his stress.

So I'll be avoiding initiating contact with him. I hope he'll message me or text me, I do really want him in my life but I'm going to stop being stupid.

Oh I really hope this works out.