I'm just so confused what to do right now. I really feel like I'm just overthinking all of this, but that still just leaves me so freaking confused.

I invited him to join me and Kelly to go play video games and he said he couldn't since he already had plans. He very sincerly appologized and I pretty much brushed him off saying 'Don't worry, it was nothing'. I was hurt. While asking him, I said 'I was hoping we'd be able to hang out'.

I mean, look what we did! He expected, I think, that'd I'd just throw myself to him to have his way. I swear, if I was younger I might have. But I let him fool around, but I drew the line. I hadn't been kissed or touched like that in years, I let more of myself go than I meant to I think. Right now I don't regret it. I feel like it'll work out. But he hasn't really talked to me or looked at me that way since. I was hoping that after the thing at Wing Stop he'd invite me to go hang out with him or some other bullshit. I needed him to hold me. He touched me and now I barely get his attention. I'm borderline miserable right now.

He's a good guy, I know it. But I need something from him to not let me feel so trashy. If he just held my hand for a second or just look at me that way, just to remind me he cares about me, I'd be okay I think.

Even just a text with his little dorky nicknames or insults, or a phone call. We text okay, but it's so... I dunno.. formal sounding?

Anyways, so I'm somewhat cold to him I suppose. He never responded (which, granted, isn't that weird, gets stuck playing video games lol) to any of my texts from a few hours ago. He usually would send a stupid smiley to shows he acknowledged it. But nothing :( I feel so stupid. I dunno how tomorrow is gonna work, but tonight is sucking. The last few nights I've been talking to him right before I go to sleep, tonight, I'm not hearing from him. I don't like not talking to him.

God, I am clingy.. Maybe I should back off. I dunno.. He said we should go on a date, but we haven't made any plans. Personally, I consider us 'dating' yet we haven't dated, but I definately don't consider him a boyfriend.

I should just go to sleep and forget about this.. I doubt I'll sleep that well thinking he's mad at me. No, he's rarely 'mad' at me. Just when I don't alter my opinion to his liking lol. He'll have to get used to that lol

I'm thinking about sending another text.

Or I could just almost fall asleep like I just did lol

Okay, sleepytime. For now I suppose. I'm still thinking about texting him..